A Mile in My Gloves
by beeftony
Summary: Another round of mind games comes with unexpected results. ABANDONED
1. Best Laid Plans

_Kim Possible, Ron Stoppable, and all related characters are the property of the Disney Company. I own this work of fiction. I make no profit from this._

_Author's Note: This is a lighthearted screwball comedy to combat the recent angst storm I've been writing. This story basically takes the "Mind Games" premise and gives it a little… twist. Hope you enjoy.  
_

**A Mile in My Gloves**  
by Jonathan Harrison  
aka beeftony

**Chapter 1**  
Best Laid Plans

"SHEGO!"

It seemed an odd thing to yell, but Dr. Drakken did it so often he didn't even notice the irregularity of the sound anymore.

That was because the sound corresponded to a name. A name that belonged to a woman clad in green and black, who sat filing her nails just a few feet away.

"What's up, Doc?" she commented sardonically, doubting he would get the reference.

"Are you listening to me?!" he whined. She never listened to him. It hurt almost as much as her words.

"Uh-huh, sure I am, Doc," she drawled.

"No you're not! You're just mocking me while you file your gloves! Why do you do that anyway?"

"To sharpen the claws built into my gloves. Claws that I use on people who are being especially annoying."

Drakken gulped. "Er, yes…. Anyway, I'll go over it again in case you weren't listening." He puffed out his chest with the triumphant pride of a toddler who had just defeated the toilet.

"Behold, my latest invention!" He drew back a cloth.

For lack of anything better to do, and secretly hoping to get more ammunition with which to mock Drakken (which was always fun), Shego glanced up. The look on her face quickly twisted into one of confusion.

"Wait, isn't that—"

"My new-and-improved brain-switch machine, Shego!" Drakken finished for her.

Still perplexed, Shego replied, "But I thought you liked your body."

"I do!" the mad scientist insisted. "You can't argue with God-given good looks like this." He posed dramatically and pivoted in a way that made Shego seriously regret eating tuna for lunch as bile built up in the back of her throat.

"Besides," he continued, "I would have been back to my own body in no time if _someone_ hadn't lost it!" He shot her a glare, which Shego defeated effortlessly with one of her own.

"Oh, don't even _think _about pinning that one on me!" she exclaimed, standing to her feet. "We agreed no more pinning things on me after the Donkey Incident!"

"Last time I ever host a henchman appreciation banquet," Drakken grumbled as he crossed his arms and looked to the side. "What kind of idiot wears a blindfold?"

"You," Shego reminded him.

"Oh, right. Eh-heh."

"Whatever. So how exactly is it 'new-and-improved?'"

"Well, for one thing, the voices now stay with their original bodies," Drakken replied. "I never could figure out why they switched as well last time around."

"Lazy writers?" Shego suggested.

"Huh?"

"You ever get the feeling that your whole life is just following one big script?" the pale henchwoman asked.

"No, not really. Why?"

"Nevermind. What else is new?"

"Well, that's pretty much it really. Though if I do say so myself, that's quite an improvement."

Shego thought about that for a second. "No more explaining why your voice is different after you switch," she mused. "Pretty clever."

"Precisely, Shego!" Drakken boasted. "No one will be able to tell the difference!"

"If you're thinking about switching brains with me my claws have an appointment with your ass," threatened Shego.

"Oh please, you think I'd lower myself to that level?" Drakken said without thinking.

"And what level _is_ that?!" Shego's entire body was illuminated with green fire as she stood up and clenched her fists. Her eyes were glowing a bright emerald.

Thinking quickly (for once), Drakken hastily excused, "Um… sidekick?"

The fire extinguished immediately and the henchwoman shrugged her shoulders. She sat down and went back to filing her nails. "So who're you gonna use it on anyway?"

"Not me, that's for certain. Ugh, to think of the time I spent in that other body last time."

"Y'know, Private Dobbs was actually pretty cute," Shego remarked. "Though I wasn't really a fan of his voice. Especially in your body."

Drakken muttered a few choice words under his breath (which really weren't that vulgar; he just felt it was the appropriate thing to be doing at the moment) and continued: "Anyway, Shego, I'd like you to meet Sluggo." He gestured to an obese henchman who sat devouring a box of donuts, then snapped to attention when he realized that Drakken said his name. Shego raised an eyebrow. Normally Drakken's goons just sat around. Now that she realized it, they had been paying a lot more attention lately. They were actually starting to give Drakken a little more respect.

'_I can't let this stand,_' she thought. '_I'll have to dial up the mocking._' "So you're gonna switch his brain with a donut's? _That's_ your great plan?"

"Ha! Shows what _you_ know!" Drakken boasted as he pointed his finger at her. "Donuts don't _have_ brains! Why do you think they have those holes?"

"Are you implying the donuts were alive at some point?" Shego questioned.

Drakken's face fell as he realized the idiocy of his rebuke. "That's beside the point! My plan is to lure Kim Possible into my brain-switch machine, and switch her brain with Sluggo's."

Shego sighed. "I know I'm gonna regret asking this, Doc, but why?"

"Think about it, Shego! What's the one reason Kim Possible always defeats you?"

"Uh, she doesn't defeat me. She defeats you."

"_You're_ the one who always loses the fistfights," Drakken pointed out.

"And it's _your_ plan that always goes down the drain whenever she shows up."

"Gnn, fine! Whatever! Anyway, the reason she always defeats _us_ is because of her amazing athletic ability." He grumbled to himself, "Stupid cheerleading. If she'd have been in the chess club I would've vaporized her years ago."

"I thought the first rule of chess club was never to talk about chess club," Shego mocked.

Drakken ignored her. "As I was saying, the girl is even more agile than _you_. But what if she wasn't?"

Shego began to see the meaning behind Drakken's words. "So you're saying…."

"Precisely, Shego! We trap her mind in Sluggo's body and she won't be able to stop us from taking over the world! It's foolproof!"

"I gotta admit, Dr. D, that's a pretty good plan. So what about Stoppable?"

"Who now?"

Shego rolled her eyes. "The buffoon," she clarified.

"Oh yes, him. What about him?"

"How are you gonna deal with him? More importantly, how are you gonna deal with that naked rodent he always carries around?"

"Why would I need to deal with them once I've dealt with Kim Possible? They're not a threat to my plans."

"They're the ones who always blow up your machines," Shego pointed out. "What're you gonna do about that?"

"Absolutely nothing!" Drakken declared. "As long as I'm able to use the machine successfully, it will actually work in my favor if they blow it up! It saves me the trouble!"

"So the switch'll be permanent?" asked Shego. Drakken nodded. "I gotta say, that could actually—"

"NO SHEGO, DON'T!"

Shego's face twisted with confusion. "Huh?"

"Every time you say that, the plan always fails," he explained.

She sighed. "As much as I hate to admit it, you actually have a point there. Alright, this is a pretty solid plan. Now what makes you think Kimmie'll be stupid enough to get in your brain-switch machine when she knows what it does?"

Drakken just stared at her.

"Of course," Shego muttered. "Lemme guess; I'm supposed to lure her over there?"

He nodded. "And could you use some of that innuendo too? That always distracts her."

Shego's eyes widened in anger. "Innuendo?! What the hell is that supposed to mean?!"

Drakken flinched from his position ten feet away. "Oh, you know: the nicknames, the flirting, all the usual things you say when you're fighting her."

A low growl escaped Shego's lips. "You make it sound like I'm coming on to her when we fight!"

"Oh no, nothing like that," Drakken explained. "I know you just do it to goad her into doing something stupid. Do you think you could lay it on a little thicker, though? I really want to make sure this plan works."

Shego began to rub her temples. "Okay, fine," she said finally. "But only flirting! Don't expect me to kiss her!"

Drakken looked at her blankly. "Why would I expect that?"

Her already green cheeks darkened as Shego blushed. '_Where the hell did that come from?_'

"You don't actually _like_ her, do you?"

"Well, I'm not opposed to the idea of kissing a woman," Shego admitted. "It's just… Kimmie's a little young, isn't she? Plus she's always trying to take my head off whenever we meet. Not exactly the best time to ask her out."

"Well, all you need to do is make her feel uncomfortable," Drakken reiterated. "Maybe drop a few lines in here and there? Just make her lose her focus enough to get trapped in my brain switch machine and then everything will go as planned."

Shego, still blushing, finally said, "Uh, yeah, you're right, Dr. D. I don't know what I was thinking."

The admission only made Drakken's eyes grow wider in shock. "Did you just say I was ri-ri—"

Shego sighed and ran a gloved hand down her face. "Yes, Dr. D. I said you were right. For once." She added, "And for your sake, you'd better be right about Kimmie falling for the plan instead of me. Last thing I need is a clingy cheerleader in my life."

"Last thing anyone needs, really," Drakken remarked off-hand.

The nail file was pulled from Shego's pocket once more as the pale woman sat down and crossed her legs. "And now we wait, I suppose."

"Yes," the mad scientist sneered as he rubbed his hands together and grinned evilly. "Yes, now we wait."

* * *

"And wait… and wait…." Ron droned as he stared at the loading screen to Zombie Mayhem XVIIII. "Oh come on already!"

"Uh, Ron?" called a voice from his left.

"What's up, KP?"

"When I said I would drop by and we could 'play,' this isn't exactly what I meant."

Ever oblivious, Ron replied, "Well then what did you mean?"

"_Ron_," Kim stressed, "I _meant_…." She whispered something in his ear.

Ron's eyes grew as wide as dinner plates. "BOOYAH!" he exclaimed.

"So, big boy," Kim closed her eyes halfway and began to massage Ron's shoulders, "What do you say we turn off the silly game and have some real fun?"

"I'd say—"

BEEP BEEP BE BEEP!

"That isn't what I'd say! I've been misquoted!"

"Ron, it's the Kimmunicator," Kim groaned as she moved to his side and picked up the device. "Go, Wade."

"Hit on your site, Kim," the chubby computer guy said. "And… it's kinda funny."

"'Ha ha' funny or 'weird' funny?" Ron inquired.

"Why don't you just see for yourself?"

Wade's image was replaced with blue. There was something familiar about the blue, but Kim didn't quite place it until she heard a voice.

"No close-ups, Jason! I don't care if you learned it in film school! Just get a view of my face and upper torso!"

"Sorry, boss."

The camera panned backward to reveal the face of Dr. Drakken. Standing next to him was a less-than-enthused (as usual) Shego.

"Hello, Kim Possible!" the cerulean scientist greeted. "Long time no see!"

"Didn't we just foil their plan last Saturday?" Ron asked Kim.

"Sunday," Possible corrected.

"Not like it matters anyway; it's probably a recording."

"It's a pity we can't see each other more often," Drakken continued.

"Yup, recording."

"I've got a new plan that needs foiling," the mad scientist sneered into the camera. "Would you be so kind as to stop in?"

Kim and Ron just looked at each other, confused.

"Yeah, that'll bring 'em running," Shego remarked.

"I'm tired of her always dropping in uninvited, Shego!" Drakken ranted. "This way at least I'll have time to prepare!"

The pale woman shrugged. "Makes sense, I guess." She looked directly at the camera. "Oh, and Kimmie," she said saucily, "I promise I've got a little… 'surprise' for you when you show up."

Drakken turned to her with a completely bewildered expression. "What the hell was that for?"

"Well you weren't specific on when I should start with the flirting. I was just trying to help sell it."

"I sold it well enough! And don't say that! She's supposed to be distracted by your flirting because it's so unexpected!"

"But you said I used it all the time."

"Gnn, yes, but you were supposed to—" He looked at the camera. "Is that thing still on?" The camera moved up and down, as though whoever held it was nodding. "Well then turn it off, you idiot!" Wade's image popped back on the screen.

"Like I said, funny."

"Yeah, and it actually satisfied both definitions," Ron observed.

Wade shrugged.

"Think it's a trap, Wade?" Kim interjected.

"Hard to say, Kim…. Actually, scratch that. Pretty easy to say. Definitely a trap."

"Yeah, it doesn't really take a supergenius to figure that one out," remarked Ron.

"Well, if we know it's a trap, he can't catch us," Kim reasoned. "And for God's sake, Ron, if you start with that 'trap-trap' nonsense again I won't let you 'play' when we get back!"

"Aww, but I waited forever to buy Zombie Mayhem XVIIII," he whined, making sure to list every Roman Numeral.

"_Ron_," Kim growled, "Not _that_."

"Oh, right! Gotcha, KP."

"Anyway," said Wade, "I'm sending you a ride as we speak. Go get 'em, guys."

"Later, Wade." Kim shut off the device. "Let's go, Ron," she said as she turned to face him again. "We'll change on the—" She stopped when he saw that he was already in his mission clothes.

"Okay, what's with the instant changing?"

"Velcro, KP," explained Ron as he tore open the sleeve of his shirt, then secured it again. "Just like strippers use."

"Okay, I so didn't need to know that," Kim gagged. "And you have enough of a problem losing your pants as it is. Won't this just make it worse?"

"Never fear, KP," he said proudly. "This stuff was designed by Wade. It's stronger than duct tape."

"How much stronger?" Kim said with doubt as she crossed her arms.

"A lot," was the vague response.

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever, let's just go." She started to walk toward the door.

"Right behind ya, KP!" Ron started to move after her when suddenly….

RIIIIIP!

"Aw man!"

Kim giggled. "C'mon, we'll get you some regular mission clothes on the ride." Softly, she added, "But keep those for later. I like a man who can get out of his clothes quickly."

Ron smiled. "Ah booyah."

* * *

_Well, what do you think of my opening? Short for me, I know, but comedy is all about timing. Drag the joke out too long and people won't laugh. This story is going to have a lot more dialogue than my other works, and I'm working as hard as I can to make this funny. I was originally going to include the fight in this chapter, but I decided to save that for the next chapter. Have to keep you folks coming back for something. Yes, I know the "Freaky Friday" concept has been done to death, but clichés exist for a reason. Hopefully you all will enjoy reading this story as much as I'm enjoying writing it._

**beeftony**


	2. You've Checked Out My Ass?

_Kim Possible, Ron Stoppable, and all related characters are the property of the Disney Company. I own this work of fiction. I make no profit from this.  
_

_Author's Note: I've upped the rating to a T due to the… suggestive nature of some of the humor in here, Shego's fantasy especially. My sense of humor has always been a bit more mature than the show's, though I'm not going to turn this into something you'd see on Adult Swim. It's just that I can really picture Shego thinking about that for some reason. She's a very sexual person. _

_The title of this chapter is inspired by one of the most hilarious KiGo vids I've seen on YouTube. Check it out now._

**Chapter 2**  
You've Checked Out My Ass?

Drakken twiddled his thumbs. It wasn't quite the equivalent of his sidekick's snazzy nail-file, but it passed the time well enough as he stared at the monitors, waiting for any blip that resembled Kim Possible.

Of course, cheerleaders don't look like little dots, but only an idiot wouldn't realize that. '_Such as the idiot whose job it used to be to sit here and watch,_' Drakken thought with annoyance. '_Seriously, apart from Shego, why do I even need these henchmen?_'

It was a thought that he would address later, after he conquered the world of course. That was where he filed away all of his dismissed thoughts. And he had an awful lot of them.

'_Maybe I should start with the note cards again,_' he mused, looking over to where Shego sat reading a magazine. '_No, Shego would just destroy them like last time. Just like she destroys all my things._' He idly wondered if he should have her do the honors of destroying the brain-switch machine after Kim Possible was defeated to ensure that the switch would be permanent. '_Yes, that will do quite nicely,_' he thought. '_Where is Possible anyway?_'

He decided to voice his frustration out loud. "Gnn, where is she?!" he shouted, impatience getting the better of him as it always did. "I even asked her nicely! Does our relationship mean that little to her?"

Shego raised an eyebrow as she looked up from her magazine. "Your relationship? First of all, ew. Second, she's not stupid. If she knows there's a trap she's gonna have Nerdlinger rig up some sort of jamming device."

"Oh, I already thought of that, Shego," Drakken said dismissively. "Which is why I invented this." He gestured to a large machine with a grand flourish. "Behold! The Unjammerator!"

"The what?"

"The Unjammerator!" Drakken repeated proudly.

"Uh, yeah, I heard you the first time," Shego said. "What idiot names these things anyway?" She smirked. "Oh wait, I forgot: you."

Drakken mumbled something incomprehensible.

"What was that?"

"I said words hurt, Shego," the blue scientist pouted.

"You'll live."

"Not happily," whined Drakken.

Shego rolled her eyes. "Any sign of 'em yet?"

He turned back to the monitors. "No. She's usually here by now. What is taking her so long?"

A few possible scenarios ran through Shego's head about what Kim could possibly be doing with her sidekick. One in particular stood out to her.

* * *

Kim and Ron lay together on a large cot in the cargo hold of an airplane. Sweat dripped from their naked bodies as they pressed up against each other under the covers, no clothes to separate them. Their movements were poorly concealed under the thin blanket. 

"Yes, Ron, yes! Right there! That's the spot! Oh yes!" Kim's eyes rolled into the back of her head as she….

* * *

'_Okay why am I fantasizing about them doing it?_' Shego thought with disgust. '_Am I that lonely?_' She thought for a second. '_Yeah, I kinda am. Though I doubt Stoppable's that good._' She quickly adjusted her fantasy to something more realistic.

* * *

"C'mon, Ron, it's not _that_ hard to find! I mean it's not like it's buried treasure or something! It's right there on the surface!" 

"I'm trying!"

"Not hard enough! Oh come on I taught you better than this!" She let her head hit the pillow with a sigh. "Why are all the cute ones so clueless?"

* * *

Shego snickered. That was more like it. She would have no trouble finding it. If Kimmie would even let her get that close, that is. 

'_Ugh, now I'm thinking about doing Princess? What the hell is wrong with me?_' Drakken's words from earlier were still fresh in her mind. '_I mean, I've always been open-minded, but…. Princess and I hate each other, right? She even said it!_'

She shook her head to clear it of all distracting thoughts. "They probably just got past your pathetic excuse for security again. Just like they always do."

"You realize you just called yourself pathetic, right?" The taunt did not come from Drakken. The big blue dolt would never have realized that. Shego turned quickly to the source of the voice.

"What'cha doin' all the way up there, Princess?" Shego called to where Kim stood proudly on one of the rafters. "Afraid you might get cooties if you get too close?"

"As if," scoffed Kim. "I just figured I'd drop in. Literally."

"You know, Batman at least makes a flashy entrance," Shego remarked. "I mean yeah, he's sneaky, but crashing through a skylight does send people running. Not me of course," she added.

"And how would you know that?"

"I was in Gotham last week. He says hi."

Instead of responding, Kim leapt from her perch and kicked off a wall, landing on top of a pile of crates that was stacked about twenty feet off the ground. Flipping to the wall again, she kicked off in the direction of the crates once more. She continued her descent in this manner until she had landed right in front of Shego.

"See, that's another thing," the villainess said. "He wears a cape. He's a _real_ superhero."

"Not all superheroes wear capes," Kim pointed out. "You didn't."

"And I still don't. I'd look ridiculous in a cape."

"So would I."

"You look ridiculous in anything, Princess."

Kim growled and rushed forward in an attempt to punch Shego in the face. The villainess deftly blocked the attack with a raised forearm, beating the fist aside and placing her right foot in between Kim's. They were inches apart.

Shego decided now was as good a time as any to start tweaking Kim by hitting on her. "You ever notice how we're always so close when we fight, Princess?" she taunted as she dodged the girl's fists. "I mean, if I didn't know better I'd say it's 'cause you like being near me."

"You make my stomach flip," Kim retorted, separating from the villainess and twirling on the ball of her foot as she attacked with a roundhouse kick.

"Sure it's not butterflies?" Shego teased, smirking widely when the heroine blushed as red as her hair. "Admit it Princess," she continued as she ducked a vengeful right hook, "you're into me."

"So not!" She threw a wild haymaker that managed to knock Shego back several feet.

Shego grinned salaciously. "Ooh, looks like I touched a nerve there. You touched a few nerves too," she added smokily, biting her lip and looking down.

"You're sick," Kim spat, rushing forward and tackling her opponent to the ground.

"You're the one lying on top of me," retorted the villainess. "Matter of fact you grab me just about every chance you get. Why is that?"

"To beat you."

"You've grabbed me in some pretty interesting places before, Princess."

"On accident!"

"I thought Stoppable was the clumsy one," said Shego. "Where is he, anyway?"

"Over here!" Both women turned their heads. The shout had come from Drakken, who was currently engaged in a grapple with the blonde sidekick.

Ignoring the insignificant scuffle, Kim and Shego turned their attention back to their own fight.

"You know you're still on top of me, Princess."

"You're just trying to make me feel uncomfortable."

Shego smirked. "How'd ya guess?"

"I'm not getting off."

"I can fix that," Shego said with a wink. She reached her hand up and cupped Kim's ass. "Damn, you're firm, Princess."

Kim's grip weakened as a result of nearly all the blood in her body rushing suddenly to her face. Blushing furiously, she leapt off of Shego as though the woman had the plague.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" she shrieked.

Shego just grinned.

"Pervert," Kim spat, refusing to look the other woman in the eye.

"At least I didn't kiss you, Princess."

"Maybe not, but the fact that you want to seriously grosses me out!"

Even though she had expected the reaction, Kim's words caused something to snap in Shego. The smile disappeared from her face. "Are you saying there's something wrong with wanting to kiss another woman, Princess?"

"I don't want to think about you kissing _anybody_," Kim gagged.

Just like that, all of Shego's anger disappeared as if it had never been. She smirked. "You're telling me you've never thought about it, Kimmie? A sheltered girl like yourself is bound to have had some fantasies."

"Not about _you_. Major wrongsick."

"Oh come on," Shego teased as she began to advance. "We both know I'm attractive. It would explain why you're always touching me."

Kim started to back up. "I'm not always touching you."

"You were a few moments ago."

"I'm not now!"

"Doesn't matter; you were."

"You're just a dirty old woman."

"I hardly call 23 old," Shego hurled back. At Kim's shocked expression, she said, "Yeah, I started fightin' you when I was 19."

"But you said you had a degree in child development."

"Oh please." She rolled her eyes. "I totally faked that. You know how much I hate kids."

"I thought the Attitudinator made it so you weren't evil."

"Good people still lie, Princess. Or have you forgotten that one Halloween?"

"That's nowhere near the same thing! You could go to jail!"

Shego laughed out loud. "Yeah, like I'm afraid of that. I help try to take over the world, Princess. That's treason. Besides, I always escape."

Kim crossed her arms. "I'm surprised they haven't executed you by now."

"But not disappointed, I see," Shego observed, pressing a finger to her lip and looking Kim up and down. "You're 18, right?"

"Why the hell do _you_ care?"

"Just checking." She grinned.

"Are we just gonna talk all day?"

"Wanna touch me again, Princess?"

Kim closed her eyes and stuck out her tongue in disgust. "Ugh! Now you've ruined it for me!"

"Want me to ruin pro wrestling for your sidekick too?"

"What's that got to do with anything?"

"It's the same thing," explained Shego. "Fighting is awfully close to sex. The aggression, the physical contact…. It can turn a girl on."

"Or just plain turn her," Kim said with disdain.

Shego felt her earlier anger resurface. "See, there it is again. You say that like there's something wrong with it."

"There's definitely something wrong with _you_."

A feral growl ripped itself from Shego's throat. "Oh, and you would know 'cause you're little miss perfect, huh? I got news for ya, Kimmie: you're just as flawed as everyone else."

"Oh yeah? How?"

"Well, for one thing you're arrogant."

Kim looked as though she had never heard of such a thing in her life. She probably hadn't, Shego realized. "What?! One of my catchphrases is 'no big!'"

"You ever watched Miss America?" Shego retorted. "And you're forgetting the one that goes, "I can do _anything._'"

"Whatever."

"And there's your other flaw. You refuse to accept the fact that you're wrong sometimes."

"So do you!"

"Yeah, well, we're not talkin' about my flaws, now are we?"

"We should be. You're obviously messed up if you're having those sorts of thoughts about your enemy."

"Just because I hit on you doesn't mean I like you, Princess," Shego snarled. "Yeah, I think you're kinda cute. But you've just got everything so easy! It's like you've never had to do a day of hard work in your life! Nothing's a challenge to you!" Her voice softened as she added, "That sorta bothers me."

"Oh, and it must be _so_ hard being you," Kim drawled. "Sitting around reading magazines and filing your nails all day, waiting for Drakken to cook up some crazy plan. You don't really have to try either."

"You think you could last a day in my shoes, Princess?" challenged Shego.

"I know I could. Like you said, nothing's a challenge to me."

Shego grinned to herself. '_She doesn't know I could arrange that. 'Course that means I'd have to be stuck in her body._' Her smile grew even wider as a thought occurred to her. '_I could ruin her with this. And no one would know it was me._' Her face now displayed a Cheshire grin.

Moving too fast for Kim to catch her, Shego threw a plasma bolt over to where Ron and Drakken were fighting, bringing down part of the ceiling on top of them and knocking them out. She then tackled the redhead, who was too stunned by the event to do anything but stare as Shego strapped her head to the brain-switch machine. Shego vaulted over to where Sluggo sat eating a box of donuts. Thankfully he wasn't strapped in yet. She picked up the box of donuts and hurled it over to a far corner of the room, causing Sluggo to lazily chase after them. She grinned and lowered the helmet onto her own head.

The helmet now firmly in place, Shego made sure that Kim was strapped in one more time before tossing a concussive bolt over to the console to throw the switch, careful to remove all heat from the blast so as not to fry the machine.

The next thing she knew, pain shot though her head, scrambling her brain as it drove away every conscious thought. The pain then spread to her entire body. She bit back the urge to scream.

Then everything went black.

* * *

_Sorry for the semi-serious tone of this chapter. It gets funnier after this, I swear. There has to be rain before the rainbow. This story will be hilarious at certain points, but it will get serious when it needs to. That's just the way I write._

_The chapters in this story will be shorter than those in my other works for the simple reason that I don't feel like devoting 50,000 words to a comedy. Maybe 30,000 at the most. All of my epics are dramas, which take considerably more character development to work. Still, there will undoubtedly be a couple of longer chapters in this story. On the upside, there will be much less time between updates. This chapter only took me a few hours to write. Hope that makes up for it somehow.  
_

_Thanks for reading!_

**beeftony**


	3. Playing the Part

_Kim Possible, Ron Stoppable, and all related characters are the property of the Disney Company. I own this work of fiction. I make no profit from this.  
_

_I have removed the KiGo warning from the summary. Why? Because there are no definite pairings in this story. Everything is free game. That means K/R, KiGo, Rongo, and even all three together are equally possible. We'll just see where the story takes us. I've also edited the notes in the first chapter so people won't get confused.  
_

**Chapter 3**  
Playing the Part

'_Ugh, what happened?_' It felt like the first conscious thought she'd had in days. It hurt to even think. She raised her arms to grip the sides of her head when she noticed something.

Her skin wasn't green.

A normal person would have been surprised if her skin _was_ green, but she had accepted her creamy complexion years ago. So why were her arms suddenly so… normal?

'_The hell?_' she thought as she examined the peach-colored limbs. There was something familiar about those arms but she couldn't quite place it at the moment. It was like her brain wasn't used to thinking. She began to rub her temples.

Shego. That was her name. She worked for Dr. Drakken, evil mad scientist bent on world conquest. The last thing she remembered, she was helping out with one of his crazy schemes. What was it about again?

'_The hell if I know._' The cognitive energy required to produce such a coherent thought made the dull ache between her temples grow even worse. '_Half the time I don't even listen to him rant._'

But there had been something different about this time. A nagging part of her insisted that she was responsible for… whatever had happened.

She idly brushed her hair out of her face, pausing in shock as she realized what color it was.

Red.

'_Princess!_' she realized. '_I switched bodies with Princess!_' Just like that, the memory came rushing back to her and she grinned with delight.

'_Oh, you're in for it now, Kimmie,_' she thought to herself. '_Just watch while I make your whole life fall apart._' She snickered, surprised to hear Kim's voice instead of her own.

'_The Doc actually got it right for once,_' she mused. Her inner voice was still recognizable to Shego as her own, but Kimmie's vocal chords had stayed with her body. '_Though this is definitely going to take some getting used to._'

A groan to her left caused "Kim" to turn. There, "Shego" was rubbing the sides of her head, trying desperately to process the situation.

Shego grinned and un-strapped Kim's head from the machine, then strode over to where her rival was just beginning to realize what happened. She smirked as the eyes that had formerly belonged to her shot open in horror.

"Y-you…! How?!" she sputtered. She gasped and ran her hands down her cheeks.

"Brain-switch machine, Princess," Shego replied in Kim's voice. As her enemy began to panic, she smirked and added, "I see you've noticed the one major improvement Dr. D made."

"You sound just like me."

"Kim" just grinned.

"What are you going to do?" she asked in horror.

"Ruin your life, of course," Shego sneered. "No one will be able to tell the difference."

"No, you can't!"

"Why not? I'm a villain, aren't I? Ruining people's lives is what I do."

"You're forgetting one thing, though."

She scoffed. "And what's that?"

"I look and sound exactly like you too."

Kim's eyes widened in horror as Shego realized the implications of that statement. "You wouldn't."

"I would."

"But my reputation'll be shot!"

"So will mine. It's only fair."

A low growl rumbled deep inside Kim's throat. "God damn you, Princess." She crossed her arms and sulked. "So I guess we're kinda at an impasse here, aren't we?"

"Pretty much."

They stared balefully at each other for several tense seconds before the voice of Shego spoke. "This is weird."

"Definitely."

"Think we should switch back?"

"Oh yeah."

They strapped themselves in again. "Okay, Princess, now throw a little bolt of plasma to that switch over there," Shego instructed.

"Okay."

Nothing.

"Uh, Kimmie?"

"What?"

"Now might be a good time to HIT THE SWITCH!"

"I… uh… can't."

"WHAT?! WHY NOT?!"

"Your power's not working."

Kim's eyelids dropped. "Say what?"

"I can't get it to work. I don't know how you do it."

"Neither do I, actually; it just sort of… works on its own."

"Oh, that's helpful."

"Look, I just think about blasting something and it happens! Most of it's just subconscious!"

"That still doesn't tell me anything."

She sighed. "Okay, usually when I use my powers I'm thinking about something that makes me angry."

"Why?"

"I dunno. I think one of the doctors who tested me when I was younger suggested that maybe my powers are emotionally controlled. Just… get pissed off and see what happens."

"I'm plenty pissed off right now, Shego."

"Well then hit the switch already!"

"Alright, alright." She reached out Shego's hand in front of her until the switch was in her sights. Concentrating on the fact that she was indeed stuck inside the body of her worst enemy, she managed to psych herself up to the point where a faint green glow appeared on her fingertips.

"Hey, it's working!"

"Great. Don't get cocky, kid."

"I wouldn't be calling me a 'kid' if I were you."

"Interesting choice of words." She smirked.

"Shut up and let me concentrate. I just want to get back into my own body."

"So do I, Princess."

Kim continued to focus on her anger at the situation until she had built up a rather sizeable charge. As her fury reached a peak, the plasma released, hitting the control panel like a cannon ball and causing it to explode. Both women were tossed from the machine like a couple of rag dolls by the rapid expansion of gas.

"Okay, that didn't work," Shego's voice said in frustration. "Any more bright ideas?"

Kim's mouth grinned. "You could take me up on that bet we made earlier."

"What bet?"

"That you wouldn't be able to last a day in my shoes."

"What?! How could you be thinking about that right now?"

"Are ya scared, Princess?"

"No, I just don't want you making me look like a total idiot."

"Look, I won't ruin your life if you don't ruin mine, deal?"

"Deal."

The right corner of Kim's lips curled upward in a smirk. "Heh. I knew you'd take me up on it."

"Oh yeah, how?"

"Because you never resist a challenge."

Kim crossed Shego's arms. "I think I can last a day as you."

"Well seeing as you destroyed the machine that put us in this predicament I think it's gonna be a lot longer than a day. A month, even. Think you can handle that?"

"Don't have much of a choice, do I?"

"Nope, not really. We need to lay down some ground rules, though."

"Such as?"

"We don't tell anyone we've switched. That will ensure that you're not getting any sort of outside help on this."

"I'm fine with that as long as you're not either. What else?"

"Second, we take care of each other's bodies like we would our own. That means I expect you to shower, brush your teeth, wash your clothes, and do everything like you normally would. No need to get vindictive about this."

"Promise not to dress me up like some tramp and you've got yourself a deal."

"I'll see what I can do, Princess. You look better in conservative anyway."

"Anything else?"

"Nope. Got anything you'd like to add?"

"You'd better do good on my homework or I'll kill you after we change back."

"Gotcha. Despite what you may think I actually got straight A's in school."

"You didn't drop out?"

"Nope. Graduated early."

"Huh. Well then I guess I can trust you."

"Same here, Princess. Promise you won't embarrass me or nothin'."

"I'll try my best."

"So do we have a deal?" Shego extended Kim's hand.

They shook. "Deal."

* * *

While it wasn't quite a deal with the devil, Kim couldn't shake the feeling that she'd just given Shego a free pass to wreak havoc on her life. Even though Shego had sworn not to on the condition that she returned the favor, the simple fact that she didn't know every little detail of Kim's life was bound to set up some awk-weird situations. 

And yet, she'd said nothing to help the villainess, reasoning that if Shego was going to let her sink or swim on her own then she may as well not even try to prepare Shego for the beehive that was her daily life. Sure, she'd get behind in school and probably go down a few levels on the food chain, but Shego would have to suffer through it, not her. She didn't dare think of what might happen when she got back to her own body.

After they'd come to their agreement, the two ladies had pulled the rubble off of Ron and Drakken to find them unconscious with a few bruises, but otherwise unhurt. Kim in Shego's body instinctively went to pick Ron up, but the real Shego had insisted that it was best if they started playing their parts right away. She had reluctantly agreed.

Maybe it was to goad her into losing the bet already, or perhaps simply to tweak her, but Kim fought her hardest to keep her rage from exploding when Shego woke Ron up with a kiss. It wasn't a "do me right here" kiss, but it was still on the same level as some of the smokier gestures of affection that Kim had given Ron in the past. Jealousy had never been a kind mistress to Kim.

Still, through a combination of her innate stubbornness and using Drakken as a convenient outlet for her feelings—Shego hit him regularly anyway, so this way she was just getting into character—Kim managed to let it slide.

For now.

'_I am so gonna get her for that. Maybe I should…._' She looked over to Drakken, who was trembling in the corner like some abused child. Which he was, in a sense. Despite the pitiful image, as well as the serious issues it would have raised if it were anyone but the mad scientist who had repeatedly tried to kill her, the only thing Kim felt looking at him was revulsion. '_Ugh, no matter how much I hate that woman, there are some levels that are just not meant to be stooped to._'

With the ill-fated plot of revenge dashed out of her mind, Kim commanded Shego's legs to walk over to where Drakken sat huddled against the wall. His eyes grew wide in terror as she approached, but as soon as he saw her face was not angry, but rather concerned, he relaxed a little bit.

Until he recognized that it was _Shego_ who looked concerned.

The weirdness didn't stop there. "Are you alright, Drakken?"

"I'm sorry?" This was all very disorientating, even for a mad scientist.

Kim silently cursed herself for falling back on her own habits. She was supposed to be acting like Shego. She had spied on them often enough (right before she jumped out and foiled their plan; it wasn't like she was a stalker or anything) to know how their interactions usually went, and after participating in four consecutive spring plays Kim felt confident in her acting abilities.

"Don't apologize," she sneered. "It's pathetic." There, that sounded like Shego. Now to await the reaction.

"But I thought I was supposed to apologize when I did something bad."

'_She probably talked to him about this. Go with it._' "Did I say that?"

"Yes."

She shrugged. "You're evil; you're supposed to do bad things. I get that. You only need to apologize when you do something that makes me angry."

"Oh. Okay." He clutched his knees closer to his chest.

Kim rolled Shego's eyes and walked away, bored. She sat on a chair and pulled out Shego's nail file. "So I guess the plan pretty much went down the tubes, huh?"

Where kindness had failed, vengeful anger managed to shake Drakken out of his terror. "Gnn, yes! That Kim Possible thinks she's all that, but she's not!"

She didn't know how to respond to that. Should she make a dry sarcastic remark or pretend to agree? She finally decided on a psychoanalytical approach. "Why do you always say that?"

"Because it's true," Drakken snarled. "Because she's nothing but a pompous cheerleader whose dad and his friends laughed me out of college!"

"You didn't have to leave because of that."

"It was the last straw, Shego! All my life I've been teased because I was blue, because I was a genius, because…." He began to sniffle.

Shego would have rolled her eyes. Kim didn't. '_I know she probably wouldn't want me to do this…_' she thought. '_All the more reason to do it._'

"Because you were different," she said sympathetically.

"YES, WELL—wait, what?" He had clearly not been expecting that response.

She smiled gently and stood from her chair. The mad scientist started to flinch as she began to walk toward him, preparing for the inevitable blow that his sidekick apparently hoped would shut him up. But instead she did something he never expected.

She gave him a hug.

He went rigid in her embrace (Hey! Mind out of gutter! Now!) and held his breath, terrified. He had not been expecting this from Shego, and so he was at a loss as to what to do about it.

"Um, Shego? Is there something you're not telling me?"

"Sh, just let it all out."

"Let all of what out? I'm fine, really."

"No you're not," Shego whispered in a soothing voice. "No one deserves what you went through. I'm sorry I didn't understand before. But I do now."

"Are you sure you're not mocking me?" Drakken asked impetulantly.

"Why would I mock you about something like that?"

"Because you always do?"

"I'm sorry about that. I guess I never realized how much it hurt you."

"Er… I'm pretty sure you realized it. As a matter of fact you always used to take great pleasure in mocking me."

"Yeah, well, I'm not mocking you now. Just let all the pain out." She squeezed him tighter.

In a sudden shift of mood that only Drakken could perform, he suddenly shuddered in his sidekick's embrace and began weeping into her shoulder. "It just hurts so much!" he wailed.

"I know, I know," Shego whispered as she rubbed her hands up and down his back. In her mind Kim was grinning like the madman she held in Shego's arms. '_Fine, Shego; I won't screw up your life. I'll make it better just because I know you'd hate that._' With her plan of revenge firmly in place, she continued to console Drakken until he eventually passed out from so many heaving sobs.

Kim made Shego's lips curl upward in a smirk after she laid Drakken down on a couch. '_This is easier than I thought. What part of "I can do anything" don't villains seem to get? Watch out, Shego: you're going to be a whole new person once I'm done with you._'

Unfortunately, with her archrival possessing her body, Kim wouldn't come out of this unchanged either.

* * *

_Yes, I'm cutting it here. I wasn't kidding about chapter length. Next up, we see how Shego deals with living in Kim's shoes. And what happens when Ron, still unaware of the switch, tries to resume his "play time" with "Kim?" Not what you'd think. _

_Till next time!_

**beeftony**


End file.
